Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking

If you are an introvert like me, this book will encourage you, and if you are an extrovert it may help you understand us introverts a little better.

Here are 20 questions to see if you are introverted or not. The more yes's you answer the more of an introvert you are.

1. I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities.

2. I often prefer to express myself in writing.

3. I enjoy solitude.

4. I seem to care less than my peers about wealth, fame, and status.

5. I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in depth about topics that matter to me.

6. People tell me that I'm a good listener.

7. I'm not a big risk-taker.

8. I enjoy work that allows me to 'dive in' with few interruptions.

9. I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.

10. People describe me as 'soft-spoken' or 'mellow.'

11. I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it's finished.

12. I dislike conflict.

13. I do my best work on my own.

14. I tend to think before I speak.

15. I feel drained after being out and about, even if I've enjoyed myself.

16. I often let calls go though to voice mail.

17. If I had to choose, I'd prefer a weekend with absolutely nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled. 

18. I don't enjoy multitasking.

19. I can concentrate easily.

20. In classroom situations, I prefer lectures to seminars. 

Here are 4 points from the book I'd like to share about introverts. Hopefully they will help extroverts to understand us introverts a bit better.

Four Important Points

Firstly, we are not hermits. : )

The author says here:

"A few things introverts are not: The word introvert is not a synonym for hermit or misanthrope. Introverts can be these things, but most are perfectly friendly...Nor or introverts necessarily shy. Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful, introversion is not."

As an introvert I can become overwhelmed in a large crowd of people and retreat, but this doesn't mean I'm shy. If someone approaches me to talk I'm very happy to interact. I love one-on-one dialog. I feel I can listen better and that I'm heard better.

Secondly, introverts express themselves well through writing.

The author states here:

"Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read, to say that they can express the 'real me' online, and to spend more time in certain kinds of online discussions. They welcome the chance to communicate digitally. The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall to two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice. The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world."

I can relate to this. I feel I can express my true self better in writing than in speech. I think that may be because introverts need to process what they say before saying it, it's easier to think it over and then write it down.

Thirdly, introverts need alone time to recharge.

We really enjoy our alone time.

At one point in the book, Susan interviews a little 8 year old girl who is an introvert. I loved this so much, because I was that little girl so long ago. The little girl says here:

"I need a break after school,' she told me later. 'School is hard because a lot of people are in the room, so you get tired. I freak out if my mom plans a play date without telling me, because I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings. But I'd rather stay home. At a friend's house you have to do things other people want to do. I like hanging out with my mom after school because I can learn from her. She's been alive longer than me. We have thoughtful conversations. I like having thoughtful conversations because they make people happy."

If you think you may have an introverted child please listen to them. They just need some quiet time at home after school to recharge and they just want to be with you one on one.

Fourthly, the effect of being raised in the Evangelical church as an introvert

I was happy to read her interview with introverted pastor, Adam McHugh, which is the author of the book, Introverts in the Church: Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture

Susan quotes McHugh here:

"The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion," McHugh explains. "The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It's a constant tension for many introverts that they're not living that out. And in a religious world, there's more at stake when you feel that tension. It doesn't feel like 'I'm not doing as well as I'd like', It feels like 'God isn't pleased with me."

This interview really got to me. I was raised in a very extroverted large charismatic church and all my siblings and my mother are extroverts. I was surrounded! : ) (Thank the Lord my dad is an introvert too) I can't emphasize enough how growing up in this environment affected me, I still struggle with it. Is God happy with me if I'm not so involved and always meeting and greeting new people? Where do quiet people fit into a world of loud evangelism?

As a quiet person in a world of endless chatter this verse has always brought comfort to me:

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel, rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 
                                                                                1 Peter 3:3-4
These are just bits and pieces that spoke to me while reading this book. There is so much more to it and I recommend reading it. Some of this book did drag on with endless statistics and experiments, but I loved the stories she shared. Stories from introverts like Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks and Eleanor Roosevelt. These I could relate to. These stories were encouraging.

If anything this book will help you embrace who you are, introvert or extrovert. Both these groups are full of great people who have something wonderful to offer the world.

Buy it HERE on Amazon